🪵 We know time

Hey Everyone,

It’s the end of the year, so naturally I’m going to take this week’s Log to offer some reflection on the previous 12 months. 

As always, grateful for all the fellow Thinking Loggers support, kind words, and willingness to share this year. 

Excited for what is to come 🙂

Roots 🌱 

Something from me

Time flies faster and faster. Elders in my life would say that this is only the beginning! As the impact of time accelerates, so too does the need for pause and reflection. Like it or not, the end of the year is a good time to find pause because it’s when the rest of the world also takes a moment to ponder. It feels inherently supportive to know that peers and society alike are in a similar collective headspace (mostly).

If you had asked me the morning before I got laid off a year ago, where I’d be a year from then, I likely would have said I’d be in Boston working at the same startup but maybe in a different role. Maybe I would have said I had taken a new job in New York or San Francisco and was excited to switch up my surroundings. If it were up to me, those would have been the most likely outcomes for my 2023. Luckily it wasn’t up to me and for the first time, I was taught the lesson of change and how to respond when it’s not self-imposed. 

I finished reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac just before getting laid off. Despite some bigoted undertones and outdated ideologies common to the 50s, I highly recommend the read for its ability to spark adventure. Throughout the novel, Kerouac’s friend Neal Cassady exclaims “we know time” before embarking on another cross-country road trip or quest to fulfill a new experience. When I realized I was free to do whatever I wanted with my life thanks to being let go, and had enough cash saved to figure things out, “we know time” proved formative for the rest of my year. 

It felt obvious that at 27, if I didn’t slow time down for a moment and collect some new experiences, it would only become harder to do so. That realization moved me to one of the most beautiful places in the world for a winter of historic snowfall and wonderful new friendships. It sent me to rural France to eat smelly cheese and peek into the lives of a family-run community farm. I walked the Camino in Spain questioning why I wasn’t in an office somewhere making money or dating my wife. And I rediscovered the comfort of spending a couple weeks with old friends & family in new places. 

Altogether, that was a six month period. When I returned home, I put my head down to start a company and now, six months later, I’m picking my head up to reflect. The first six months of the year felt as though I had enough experiences for a lifetime. And time slowed down. Everyday brought a new adventure and whim to chase down. Or it didn’t! This second six months of the year have legitimately been the quickest of my life. In living at home and focusing solely on work, life has moved in a flash. There haven’t been the same calendar landmarks or photos in the album to mark the passage of time that I saw in the first half of 2023. 

For me, 2023 has been a year of extremes in terms of how to spend time. First six months had no routine. Second six months: coffee, work, eat, sleep repeat. I don’t say this despondently but rather to offer my 2024 self some insight on how to find balance. Neither half of my year have been grounded in reality. It’s not financially or emotionally feasible to travel the world in perpetuity and it’s not socially or mentally feasible to keep your head down on work for the rest of our most active years. 

I know this all sounds obvious. And it doesn’t immediately have anything to do with masculinity, loneliness or community. I’m sure there are parallels to draw, and I encourage whomever reads to try and draw them! My hope in this ramble was to offer the space for honest reflection grounded in time. And to look towards a discovery of new balance in 2024.

Trunk 🪵 

How we grow

I wouldn’t consider myself a self-help enthusiast, but I do love inspirational quotes that help frame a thought. Here are some of my favorites from this year:

Branches 🌲 

Something from you

Ever grateful for The Thinking Log community. I’ve compiled some facts and figures for those who missed a post or would like to see what has been most popular along the way.

The Thinking Log Top Three

These were the three posts that collected the most engagement and impressions over the last few months.

1. 🪵Pondering hookup culture - Experiencing shame, the need for language, and how to give a compliment - 525 impressions

2. 🪵 Daddy issues - Lapse in empathy, feedback on the Trunk, and the economy of loneliness - 505 impressions

3. 🪵Where'd all the community go? - Ancestral ties, constructive criticism, and something to smile about - 434 impressions

The Thinking Log Statistics

The numbers behind newsletter engagement thus far.

21 Posts

200+ Subscribers

83.22% of the subscribers open the emails on a weekly basis

13.58% of subscribers clicked on links within the emails

Leaves 🍃 

Something to leave you with

Top Three Most Clicked Leaves

Reddit - I watched and graded all of Messi’s 800 goals to determine their average quality (and distract myself from my breakup) 

• Outrageous thread but peep the top comment lol (also Messi = 🐐)

Instagram - "Hello. It’s suicide prevention week, so I thought I’d post this. I think it’s worth repeating. Hope you’re good wherever you are."

• Possibly the best instagram follow in recent memory. Give it a scroll and tell me you don’t smile. Thanks to Annabel in Boston, MA for sharing.

The Washington Post - Men are lost. Here’s a map out of the wilderness.

• Comprehensive and balanced overview of the current state of masculinity from Christine Emba. GREAT read.

The goal of this blog is to learn a ton and to help others do the same.

Your feedback is always welcome, and if there’s a topic that you want to hear more about, please contact me or fill out this quick survey!

• Twitter: twitter.com/gregmilnarik

• Survey: forms.gle/Mbg5xaHmw8JKriFo8

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I’m stoked to have you here and talk soon!

Greg

Wind 🌬️ 

What I’m listening to

This was the song I listened to most in college writing all-nighter papers and remains a favorite for felt pondering. A fitting tune for this post / year!

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