🪵 I'm tired, Grandpa!

Hey Everyone,

I started The Thinking Log because I wanted to start a newsletter. That’s kind of faded, but now I just like writing once a week 🙂 

If anyone else has Thinking Log adjacent thoughts and would like to feature them in the newsletter, feel free to let me know by responding to this or future emails.

Thanks, Legends!

Roots 🌱 

Something from me

The twenties really feel like the period of life where we get a ton of new experiences and learnings without the structure of something like school to steer you in the “right” direction. There are so many topics and experiences where the right direction feels hidden. Perhaps I’m using this blog to do some of the steering! 

Personally, one example of this lack of steering comes in the forms of how I see my parents. I’ve written in the past about the evolution of my relationship with my dad, and the gratitude for my mom’s kindness as a single parent. But living at home for this period of time wakes you up to the humanity of your parents and older adults in your life. 

After being in school, going off into the world, and exposing myself to different kinds of human interaction, returning home in the mid-late twenties grounds me in the fact that my parents and the adults that I grew up around are just like me. They have their intricacies and fears and hopes and it's wild to take a second to realize they’re not the finished product that we see as wee lads earlier on in life. 

After the awestruck recognition of their humanity wears off, what’s left is the realization that they’re kind of in the same boat as us: a work in progress, trying to figure it out. And all the sudden, the parent or adult in our life becomes more of a peer. Of course the respect, gratitude and wisdom of age remains as well, but perspective earned in your twenties begins to have a seat at the table where the younger generation has the capacity to impart wisdom or learnings on to the older generation. That’s pretty cool. 

It’s also a difficult transition. Our whole lives we are the ones who receive care and then with no preparation at all, we’re presented the opportunity to try and show care and love for parents or adults who from what I can tell, expect nothing from us. And I know this is what great philosophers and scientists would simply call life. It feels a bit heavier than that sometimes. And maybe that’s also life. 

Some people handle this transition better than others. Some cultures handle this transition better than others! On one hand, I think American men may feel ill-equipped to handle this transition given the lack of permission to lean into the compassion & vulnerability necessary to show up for our parents and elders. And for ourselves when we inevitably get old! 

There’s a negative connotation in the US with getting old. Compare this assumption I have about our American men (likely rooted in some truth) to the standards set by Native American cultures and many Eastern societies. Maybe it’s because our culture is comparatively still so young? Come to think of it, I don’t see much elderly reverence woven into American life at all. It’s seemingly taught in the household and less so in society. We look down on getting old and are ashamed to ask for help. Feels like a great opportunity to make a change, no?

Trunk 🪵 

How we grow

On caring for parents as we get older:

I feel like so many have situations like this to relate to. More so the last part of how, as we get older, do we find the balance of caring for a parent or loved one, without becoming the parent ourselves. Is there a balance? It's difficult. 

That balance is a form of work. It’s not just something that presents itself immediately I’ve found so far. Sometimes things feel quite heavy and other times, it’s easy to compartmentalize. Add it to the list of things that help to discuss with others and share stories rather than feel like we have to face it all ourselves, head on.

Branches 🌲 

Something from you

Thanks to Travis in Tucson, AZ for sending this along after a discussion centered on last week’s post:

🤔

Leaves 🍃 

Something to leave you with

How Cultural Differences Shape Your Gratitude

• Great and quick read. Click for more of this: 

  • “Gratitude is, after all, ultimately a skill that strengthens our relationships—and it arises when we pay more attention to our relationships and all the gifts they bring us. “At a time when the society seems to be more about me me me, we really need to get people thinking about connections.””

Self-Acceptance and Interdependence Promote Longevity

• Don't think anyone is looking for a full research paper but the abstract alone is worth the read :) 

Are Older People Wiser?

• Don’t think anyone is looking for two full papers but the last paragraph tells the story:

  • “Maybe the real question isn’t if older people are wiser, but rather, are we doing enough to listen to their wisdom?”

The goal of this blog is to learn a ton and to help others do the same.

Your feedback is always welcome, and if there’s a topic that you want to hear more about, please contact me or fill out this quick survey!

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I’m stoked to have you here and talk soon!

Greg

Wind 🌬️ 

What I’m listening to

I confess I’ve only recently done the Mt. Joy deep dive. Shidddd it kinda lived up to the hype!

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