🪵 Really makes ya wonder!

Roots 🌱 

Something from me

A few years ago, my friend Ethan recommended this podcast from Ezra Klein related to friendship and learning. It’s funny to me how absorbing something at a particular time in life can stick with you for a long time without really recognizing it.

While not something I actively think about, the school of thought communicated in this episode stuck with me and proved formative in mine and Ethan’s ongoing friendship and evolution of our group of friends more broadly. At the time, the section about what to look for in a partner seemed most compelling as I was hugely enthralled in the world of city-dating in a post-covid world. What I failed to recognize at the time is that so much of the characteristics the hosts call out as important for romantic relationships, relate to and in fact can first be observed within friendships.

I recommend the listen in its entirety, but for the purposes of this Log, I want to emphasize one formative feeling towards another person that I hadn’t previously considered: admiration. The legends over at Mirriam-Webster define to admire as, “to feel respect and approval for someone; from the Latin root word for ‘wonder’.”

When I think about the people in my life, admiration becomes a wonderful lens with which to view the world. Awareness of admiration opens up a new avenue to gratitude for the people in my life and the characteristics that make them uniquely who they are. And even for those not in my life, admiration encourages me to actually think critically about qualities that others exhibit and how that resonates with me as a person. It’s hugely fulfilling to see something in another person that you know in your gut is a good thing and prompts aspiring towards. It’s inherently empathic.

Fundamentally, I think the benefits of admiration lie in its Latin roots. To wonder! Wonder reminds me of staring at a mountain and thinking about the larger questions of life! Wonder gives me pause! Within wonder, there becomes so much room for curiosity, active listening and mutual learning. Admiration gives rise to gratitude and appreciation which provide wonderful grounds for relationship and community. When I think about what I admire about close relationships in my life and larger communities formed out of those relationships, almost always a wry smile finds its way onto my face.

Trunk 🪵 

How we grow

On a how to encourage male clients to feel comfortable seeking support in groups:

Another not so distant cousin of admiration is accountability. When surrounded by people that you feel like bring the best out of you, you feel good about leaning in to those things and holding yourself accountable. For many dudes, the prevailing narrative of accountability amongst friends seemingly doesn’t exist, or it has more roots in hustle culture than human interaction and understanding.

As it relates to coming together as a group to discuss things more openly, meeting guys where they are is a prerequisite. To host a group for guys to talk about vulnerable subjects assumes that they know they want to talk about those things. One can’t help but think there would be more engagement or interest if the vehicle of communication was portrayed through an everyday topic like sports, football, business (?) with lessons of vulnerability and empathy woven into those topics.

For guys to go from 0 to 1 feels insurmountable in some ways. Perhaps we need to start trying to meet them at 0 rather than assume they’re at 1!

Branches 🌲 

Something from you

Really appreciate Max in New York, NY for his willingness to share personal thoughts on last week’s Log here:

Blimey. Spot on! Thank you, Max 🙂 

Leaves 🍃 

Something to leave you with

Podcast - Scott Galloway & Surgeon General Vivek Murthy discuss loneliness

• Thanks to Owen in New York, NY for writing in with this

• Great listen here in follow up to last week's post and the omnipresent conversation on loneliness

Our World in Data - The media claims we are experiencing a ‘loneliness epidemic’. What is the evidence for this?

• Dug a bit deeper after the post from last week and came across these findings:

  • “There is an epidemic of headlines that claim we are experiencing a “loneliness epidemic”, but there is no empirical support for the fact that loneliness is increasing, let alone spreading at epidemic rates.”

• Interesting! Caveat this was published just before Covid, but healthy to check your sources!

Reddit - Famous soccer coach spitting facts about hair loss as a guy

The goal of this blog is to learn a ton and to help others do the same.

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I’m stoked to have you here and talk soon!

Greg

Wind 🌬️ 

What I’m listening to

Would recommend with coffee and/or walking with headphones in and busting a move here and there.

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