🪵 Come on in, the water’s fine!

Hey everyone, 

Is it me or is the end of year reflection hitting interplanetarily different this year?

In any event, I hope those that come together with loved ones for Christmas this weekend have safe travels and enjoy the time to gather :) 

Thanks for taking a seat on The Thinking Log as always 🪵

Roots 🌱 

Something from me

I presently lack a third place. A third place is “a term coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg and refers to places where people spend time between home (‘first’ place) and work (‘second’ place). They are locations where we exchange ideas, have a good time, and build relationships.” Perhaps it's the prolonged period of time I’ve spent in the suburbs or perhaps it's a projection of an unmet social connection. Regardless, I can’t help but notice how difficult it is to find spontaneous instances of social interaction when there is only space for work and home. 

And those spontaneous interactions represent a classic case of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. Living in a city or traveling present infinite opportunities to say hello to a stranger, pick up a dropped item for someone else, or randomly ask for help when you might need it. Kurt Vonnegut unsurprisingly had apt words for this phenomenon:

We do be dancing animals. In the last six months I have literally found myself dancing around the house with headphones on because I’m craving the sort of movement or interaction you get when you’re at a party or you hear a chune on the street that forces you into motion.

I’m a bit of an extrovert so these moments give me life, but the suburban standard of interaction feels flawed or sub optimal even for those that take solace in choiceful socialization. In my hometown, there really is no town center. There are plenty of restaurants, shops, and bars, but many lack the sort of “come on in, the water’s fine” energy that comes from a city’s neighborhood-specific coffee haven, or a small town center’s watering hole. It’s a weird in between and without knowing every suburb in the US, I can’t help but feel this isn’t a common state of being. 

The introduction of remote work throws this dynamic into further disarray in that many may not even have a “second” place! So even for those in urban areas, there exists the possibility of a less engaged social infrastructure. Even though the office limits weekend travel plans and prolongs hangover discomfort, there exists the possibility to interact with strangers on the way there, coworkers while you're present, and friends after the day is done. 

I realize this is basic conversational fodder at this point, and I'm not saying I’m a fan of water cooler talk or five days in person, but I think it’s important to highlight the different ways in which modern suburban & urban life requires intention to fulfill unmet social needs. It doesn’t just happen by chance. Until it does! 🙂

Trunk 🪵 

How we grow

On how resources could be improved to account for male wellbeing support:

Based on many things previously discussed on the Log, third places may be even harder to come by for dudes. It’s as if the community of the church or pickup [insert sport] games have been replaced by the rise of big brewery (read like big pharma).

Of course other options exist. Evidently fitness and working out can fill some of the void with Crossfit, climbing, and other activities providing healthy ways to bring people together. 

Personally, skiing has always been my way of spending quality time with the homies. So often the conditions, particularly on the east coast, aren't conventionally “good” but the car ride, the banter and the social warmth make for the most fulfilling time regardless. A topic for another post! Your thoughts?

Branches 🌲 

Something from you

Thanks to Julia in Charlottesville, VA for her response to the Log last week:

Excellent use of “~” I might add!

Leaves 🍃 

Something to leave you with

CNN Health - Missing Child, Found Parent

• Thanks to Pat in New York, NY for sharing this wholesome story. Reminds me of another conversation with a friend about the responsibility of being a parent, especially a dad to a son; a topic for another day!

Brookings - Third Places as Community Builders

• For some more context on Third Places in the US and their importance. Good quick read.

Holiday Recommendations feat. Friends of The Thinking Log:

• For the wildlife/landscape lover, check out Rob Fiamengo Photos based in Wyoming.

• For those into the journey of therapy and associated feels, check out Your Therapist is Depressed Too by the lovely Jess Semaan.

• For those who love all things home cooking or wanting to upgrade their chef skills, check out 80/20 Cooking from Myles Snider

  • Myles also runs a killer cooking/food newsletter with thousands of subscribers here if you’re looking to dip the toes

The goal of this blog is to learn a ton and to help others do the same.

Your feedback is always welcome, and if there’s a topic that you want to hear more about, please contact me or fill out this quick survey!

• Twitter: twitter.com/gregmilnarik

• Survey: forms.gle/Mbg5xaHmw8JKriFo8

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I’m stoked to have you here and talk soon!

Greg

Wind 🌬️ 

What I’m listening to

Absolute belter. I mean really this one does it. Overplaying it as we speak. Just a good old fashioned chune ya get me??

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