🪵 Am I authentic?

Hey Everyone,

It’s a new year and in an effort to continue sharing stories related to loneliness, social connection, community and wellbeing through the lens of masculinity, I’m stoked to introduce our first post and guest post of 2024 courtesy of Greg in Boston, MA. Yes, his name is also Greg. 

Greg is one of the “homies” I so often reference on The Log. We went to college together, lived together for many years, and in addition to sharing the same name, we share a love for all things reflection and critical thought. 

It came as no surprise that he was the first to express an interest in writing here, and I’m so grateful for his willingness to do so.

Enjoy Greg’s first post below! 🙂

Roots 🌱 

Something from me

The inspiration for this post came while literally sitting on a log. Around a campfire in Otis, MA to be exact. Jim Croce on the JBL speaker and surrounded by my dear friends. Oh and I was thinking too, but there’s certainly no shortage of that in my life right now. 

Please allow me to set the stage. To quote The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - my latest attempt at strengthening my reading habit - “It begins with a house.” I live 8 miles away from the house I grew up in (shoutout to The Shack). I’m one of few people I know who is still working in the same role post-grad. Some friends are living in other countries, starting companies, or getting engaged. Typical mid-20s stuff. However, in catching up with friends & family around the holidays, I had no significant life updates to regale them with. To pile on, I was often met with: “have you made any progress on the move you’ve been telling everyone you’re planning for the last 18 months?” 

For a while now, I’ve formulated this idea that I’m going to move away from my home city to find more fulfilling work, meet new friends and begin a cascade of self-improvement that somehow solves all my problems. Since this idea’s inception, I’ve talked my friends’ ears off about it and have received nothing but encouragement and thoughtful input. So when I’m forced to verbalize my lack of progress on this goal, as you can imagine, I don’t exactly feel like the man. Certainly not someone taking full advantage of the lack of responsibility available in post-college years. If the self-talk is particularly negative that day, it can feel like I’m wasting my life. All this has led me to ponder an incredibly challenging question - am I an authentic person? 

In this sense, to be authentic is to do what you say you are going to do. To follow through on your dreams and goals, leaving your fears behind and embracing discomfort to make the changes you want to make in your life. And in a nod to traditional masculinity, to be the “man of your word.” Around the aforementioned campfire I brought up my fear that I am inauthentic. Always saying that there are ways I want to live my life but then not living those out. Any self-critical person will be familiar with the feeling of constantly being reminded of the laundry list of ways in which they want to be better. And in the spirit of new year resolution season and what not, the idea of writing YET again that I want to stop overthinking, read more and drink less doesn’t exactly paint a mahogany-framed portrait of manly responsibility. 

So what’s my real resolution here? What have I learned about myself when pondering this question? One core piece is that when it comes to living authentically, perfectionism can kick rocks. Suck on a lemon. Treat perfectionism like the enemy of good that Voltaire said it is. The whole reason you have goals is that you’re working towards them. That’s the human experience, and it’s ludicrous to think that you’ll have accomplished everything you set out to do by age 30. Although a case can be made for Raphaël Varane’s footballing career (and he’s looked damn good doing it, see below). Of greater importance, is the desire to understand and truly believe that I’m on the right path, walking alongside incredible people who love and support me. 

This brings me to my parting thought, a paradox I often ponder. It’s possible to find contentment with where you’re at while simultaneously pushing towards a more fulfilling or authentic life. My wandering dreams don’t have to stand in contrast with the remarkably happy life I’ve lived 8 miles away from my childhood home. Instead they look more like this:

To me, being authentic means sitting on The Thinking Log wherever you are, admitting with vulnerability that you’re still learning who you are, and sharing perspectives with those who are sticking by your side on this journey.

Trunk 🪵 

How we grow

Plenty of room to take insight from friends in addition to therapists! Here are some favorite nuggets from my inspirational-ass friends:

My sister Rose calls this stuff “Free Therapy.” Paraphrasing admittedly.

Branches 🌲 

Something from you

[New year and new opportunity for Thinking Log content. If you’re interested in writing a guest post or have other thoughts/feedback for The Log, please feel free to respond to this email with your interest.

And forward to friends! So this conversation continues to grow 🪵 🌲]

Leaves 🍃 

Something to leave you with

Warren Miller - Hometown Boy

• Vermont native Jim Ryan comes home to Killington, VT and riffs on why you can take the boy out of the East Coast, but you can’t take the East Coast out of the boy.

• Staying true to your roots while branching out. Pray for snow, and Ski the East. 

Instagram - Are.na - A platform for connecting ideas and building knowledge 

• One of my favorite accounts. Few social media posts will make you stop and think. Visual representations of the human experience.

Psychology Today - The True Cost of Multi-Tasking

• A five-course meal of thought for anyone who finds themselves always switching focus between a million different things throughout their day.

The goal of this blog is to learn a ton and to help others do the same.

Your feedback is always welcome, and if there’s a topic that you want to hear more about, please contact me or fill out this quick survey!

• Twitter: twitter.com/gregmilnarik

• Survey: forms.gle/Mbg5xaHmw8JKriFo8

If you enjoyed the read or found it thought provoking, I’d be grateful for you to share it with one other person who might as well by sharing the subscribe button below.

I’m stoked to have you here and talk soon!

Greg

Wind 🌬️ 

What I’m listening to

As a notorious crate-digger, I expected this decision to be the most difficult part of guest posting on the blog. Turns out it was kind of a no brainer given the content.

Bit of chalk, but it offers some darn good sidewalk art for this brand of internal conflict. 

Want to Help Build The Thinking Log?